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Duck

The SexyBum (TM) Project

102 posts in this topic

Stemming from Evilution's query earlier last week, I gots thinking to myself... "Self... those hips on Nosedive are uggggglay! Nosedive's a guy and shouldn't have none of those child-bearin' hips..." So, with nothing much else going on, on a sunny holiday Monday, it was time to see what could be done to remedy this situation of vast hipular proportions!

First, a recap.

Sexy:

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Lumpy:

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It was looking dire. Nosedive was in for a serious dose of Preparation H!

Thanks again to Kane's site, I proceeded to take off the back panel.

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Using a T-25 driver, take out these two bolts.

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Using the T-25 driver, take out these two bolts as well.

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Using the T-25 driver (hey, isn't this nice??), take out these 3 bolts, remove the centre one last!

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Tugging back a bit, you can twist the bulb and socket out of the side marker lights.

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These slots on the sides of the panel...

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...fit into these pegs on the tridion. It is hard to work blind the first time, but now it's easy! Just rotate backward a bit.

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...et voila!

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So now we can see the damage that stupid Transport Canada has caused. 4 T-30 bolts, and a giant hole. NOT as bad as I thought though! The holes seem to have been drilled accurately enough, so I don't have worries about how this will look with the tumors gone. I measured the holes for future reference...

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As much as I hate to say it, this is a 2.25 in hole (ew that it's not a nominal metric number, shame)

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...and 7 mm clearance holes for the T-30 bolts that hold them on.

So, the plan now is to source out some 7 mm plugs (0.25 in would be close enough I reckon'), and some kind of either a) black pushplug that will fit in the hole, or B) a suitable light fixture that I can solder in the wires and retain the light function. I'm not too worried about keeping the functionality, if it's good enough in 34 other countries, that's good enough for me!

WARNING! This is probably ILLEGAL or something. Children around the world will likely die a horrible death if you do what I'm doing. SO DON'T!

That said, Nosedive is about to have the sexiest Canadian bum around.... :devil: Stay tuned!!

-Iain

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Can't wait to see what you come up with Duckie, me boy!

B:sun:

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Interesting idea, but why not just get a set of EU rear fenders? They shouldn't cost more than...what.....$350? :lol:

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...because I spend all my money fixing my POS Chinese bike and I need a new head :P

(But honestly, I didn't realize - you can just buy those two side pieces on their own?! How would I do that?)

-Iain

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Get them from a dealer.

I was thinking wouldn't it be cool to replace the green rear with a black one?

Would change the character of the car

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Yeah get them from your dealer; even the CDN spare parts version of the fenders don't have the holes drilled in them yet. I am not sure of the price though.

Shame about the minibike engine going pop.

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I'm thinking of something like this:

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...obviously depending on what's on the back of it for mounting. Ideally I need something that'll have a threaded boss about the same diameter as the hole, and a huge nut on the back. Ima stop in at K-W surplus on my way home tonight, see what they got.

I forgot to mention, I did partially remove one of the add-ons, and the surface under it was pretty nasty. :/ The bolts had rusted, staining the plastic a bit, and of course there was a ton of junk and road gunk up in there. Filthy! I'm confident I can clean it up, but it's a bit disheartening to see, of course. I have a feeling painted pannels will not have fared so well.

-Iain

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I.

AM.

SO.

EXCITED!!!!!!!

Tonight on my way home from work, I stopped in at K-W Surplus. They had the ugliest lights I have ever seen in my life. Honestly, looking at them made me want to hurl myself into a porcupine enclosure. So, I started to drive home, sad... and then I remembered... Princess Auto!! Their new location is off Homer Watson, near Connestoga College. I hadn't been in there yet. So, I started poking around... EUREKA! Well, I wasn't so excited at the time, but I did find 2in diameter lights, and figured it was close enough to make it work. As a precaution, I bought 2.5in ones as well, but they were quite uglay.

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PART NUMBER PARTY:

2in LED Red Marker Lamp with Closed Grommet:

Power Fist 8057933

Single Contact Pigtail

Power Fist 8027752

Power Fist :gay: tee hee.

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Bum comes off again. Remove the 4 screws holding on the lumps with T-30 driver. I spent a good 10 minutes doing this, because the screws were so rusted in place that it was almost impossible to remove them. I LOVE LOVE LOVE Torx though, because no matter how hard you twist, there is no outward push force (unlike Phillips, which I hate). I sprayed on some Krown, which seemed to help.

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"Throw them away and tortue them for being so rubish." - Evilition :biglaugh:

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The damage. Ugh.

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OMG, I almost cried. This cleaned up with some windex, thankfully.

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What you get in the light kit. The light separates from the grommit.

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Uh oh, out come the soldering tools.... this can't be good...

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I snipped the wires from the existing side marker lights.

AREN'T YOU EXCITED??????? I AM!!!!!!!!!!!! :oh:WOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!

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Solder party!

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I slipped a piece of colour-coordinated shrink tube over each wire. You have to use the same colour as your car, otherwise the lights won't work. 's true.

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Awesome solder job. Not.

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The trick is to squish the gromit through the panel. And solder it together after passing the leads THROUGH THE GROMMIT. I didn't on the 2nd one and it was a PITA to get it through. Next time I remove the back panel I'm snipping the wires and putting in disconnects. It's just too much of a bugger to get the lights in and out this way.

Are you ready?

Reeeeeeeeally?

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I am really, really happy with how this turned out. I'm going to go to Krown and see if I can get some panel plugs. I couldn't find any at Princess Auto or K-W Surplus but I know exactly what I'm looking for. A little CLR or something like that I imagine will clean up the rusty areas. Then I think it will look almost as good as the European cars.

They are BRIGHT. Much brighter than the incandescent lights they replaced. So I don't want to hear any "This is an unsafe mod" posts. I am fond of the pattern, it's 4 LED's in a Y shape. Not too bad. I think they look good with the circular front side marker lights, they compliment each other. AND THAT CURVE. I just love how it sweeps right up into the existing tail light assembly. I am so relieved.

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(Photograph of defication on "warts" omitted. :))

-Iain

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Now you got zits on your rear bumpers.

Seriously, though, where's the reflective aspect to the new lights? Oh, forget it. Grow old fighting that one.

Are the insides of the bumperettes painted? Are they impregnated plastic, like like the body panels? I was expecting to see dark plastic under the cover.

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Do the photon torpedo pods say "made in USA" on them?

I think I'm gonna price EU rear fenders, just for the halibut.

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Looks great! Put the pods on eBay for an outrageous price and use the $$ to pay for the new head on the bike!

S

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I had so much fun doing this and it was so easy (<1 hour) that I would go so far as to say if anyone wanted to pay me for the parts (about $24) I would do this for them for free. Or for a case of Sweet Tarts and Monster Energy Drink!!!!!!!!!!!! It can be done without soldering; like I said I would in future replace the solder joint with a crimp-on male/female connector so it is easier to remove. That's another buck or two from Canadian Tire.

Actually Mike they don't say Made in anywhere! There's a sticker on them that says they were made in September of 2005, and a big long part number (looks hand-scribed). Is that the rumour though, that they're made in the US, and outfitted here in Canada? I thought I remembered seeing a photo you took in Hambach of them already on cars over in the lot, but I can't quite remember.

The bumperettes are made from some shoddy low-grade plastic - they are very heavy and are moulded thick. As such I'm pretty sure they're painted.

I'd feel awful selling them on eBay, although I think it would be hilarious if say someone in the UK put them on and suddenly it was all the rage, and everyone wanted them. :biglaugh:

I'm not done yet though; still have to find some little black pushplugs to fill those other holes.

-Iain

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From what I understand SOME European smart owners want them...believe it or not!

Who knows!

S

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I understood that the pods are made in the USA, and although - the for the early 2005 models - they were painted and installed in Halifax, the later cars (from spring 2005 on) have had them fitted in Hambach at the "manufacture", as Sabine Wernher called it, the post-production line CDN installation centre.

Yeah, they are painted. I suspect one of mine will be flaking paint chips in a year or two, because it has a small hairline crack (probably will occur just after the paint warranty expires!). I guess they're dense to absorb the pendulum hit they were designed to take.....

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Makes me want to say... "I want a Sexy Bum!"

It sure is different. I want to see Nosedive in fog or a dewy morning, wearing a purple fur vest, with its thighs shining light beams upward, and saying, "Hasse mich nicht, nur weil ich schön bin!" to the music of Frankie Goes to Hollywood.

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that looks good, but I like the Canadian pods..I am sure they will become the rage in Europe!!! "Rare find on Ebay.de"

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If any Europeans put those on their smart they would be publically drowned.

Duck - you have done a good job there, if I were you I would consider a slight dusting of paint over them to match your car colour and maybe copy one of my future projects (reflective wheel centre caps).

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If any Europeans put those on their smart they would be publically drowned.

:biglaugh: Kane, you crack me up. Honestly I was most looking forward to what you thought of this modification; I have a lot of respect for you and your car, it's probably the 2nd nicest smart I have ever seen (my favourite is the very top one in this thread, the dark/matt grey and black one, with those crazy triline rims). Were you thinking I should paint the gasket/grommit, or the light itself?

Our electrical guy here at work is trying to help source me some panel plugs for the remaining holes. This modification would work best on a black car; stream green/white is probably the worst colour to do it on, because it is so obvious on the light colour panels. Oh well.

-Iain

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Why not get the paint code for Stream Green and get a rattle-can custom-mixed? That way you could paint the tops of whatever plugs you get (and maybe the grommet, too)

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Is that expensive? I didn't know you could get spray paint custom-made, I figured I'd have to buy a giant 2 litre bucket (or whatever unit they sell them in, the big house paint buckets). Can someone post the paint code?

-Iain

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A proper paint store (like not Home Depot or Canadian Tire) should be able to get custom-made rattle cans. You might have to go to an automotive body shop and paint supply place.

And of course, Kane has paint codes listed on his site.

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If I were you I'd polyfil the holes and use paint to totally erase the holes.

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