My wife bought me a BICYCLE....AUGH!!!!

[Willys 748]

OK, I turned 61 yesterday.....and as I walked into the living room I spy a dreaded 2 wheeled machine with a bow on it.....!   WTF...?
WHY...????

What did I do to deserve this...?

Where did I go wrong...?

She doesn't ride one of these contraptions, but twice a year....so why me...?

OK.....I admit I looked at it many months ago and thought, Hmmmm.....looks neat.....but......

It's one of those fat tired all terrain machines that look like it belongs on the moon or at the top of some alpine meadow!!  So after thanking her and saying how much I could use it.....lol....ys I have been married for 30 plus almost 40 years, I know what side my bread is buttered...!  I set to get it set up for my fat ass. Hmmm.....seems they have re-engineered bicycles a bit since my younger days......disc brakes and quick release everything and the thing that is no good the way they hold down the front fork stem. No longer is there the old fashioned long bolt attached to that pinch nut, no...it's a series of spacers and a weak pushed in clamp nut with a simple bot that uses everything including the thickness of the handle bar clamp to load up the location and the final torque on the bearings with the single bolt and wear nut, then two side facing bolts to securely hold handle bars in place after correct torque has been set.....not sure what that torque is yet, but that's it. No more 2 larger nuts locking together to set the bearing torque which enabled you to change and adjust the bar height by a simple lossening of the top bolt.....nope all changed.   I need those bars to sit higher.   Lets not get into the "G" string styled seat...!  Lets just say my fat ass hasn't been tortured that badly since I don't know when....after a 2000 yard spin or wobble I carefully got off the bike and then proceeded to walk as if I had ridden a donkey down the Grand Canyon for days on end, unable to put my knees together for a while....!   I also come from a road bike past where you ride for efficiency by always having your legs end with a straight leg on the power stroke....not this thing!   I'm assuming it's designed for the obstical course where being able to easily place your feet firmly on the ground and allowing the dangerous part, the bike, wheel away without nutting yourself. So seat is engineered to be lower. Hmmmm....this will take some getting used to. Don't get me wrong when i was an early teenager we built bicycles just like this or a BMX for jumping etc etc....I get it.

So, does this mean I can ease off the road rage I have against the packs of Tour De France idiots we get up here in the country near my house.....Hmmmmmm........sorry not happening....lol.   Again another pack who simply wouldn't move into single file to allow cars etc to safely pass was encountered yesterday.....why..?   Yesterday was getting home from the cottage death race day up here, where hundreds of thousands of mental idiots race from their cottages to their city cubicles as fast as they can. So us country folk usually stay off the roads at this time, it's safer!  But for some reason this pack, no not a race, decided yesterday the last day of a bank holiday weekend was the best day to go for a ride on a artery back to the city...Hmmmm....? And they wouldn't thin out to single file....why..?    And you wonder why people get upset with cyclists....????   A few bad apples ruin it for the rest as usual.
Will I be cycling in a pack any time soon, I doubt it as i fear my heart wouldn't take it...lol. Not the near death experience but , the pace they ride at....I know I'm old and a fat bastard...lol.   That's why I expect the wife thought this bicycle would be a good present....augh!

She's trying to kill me off for my life insurance....!!!!     I know it!


I am now searching for an yes dare i say it, an electrical power plant to strap to it...lol....what's happening to me....first cycling, now electrics.....whats next solar...?

 

[MikeT 747]

It'll take about 4 weeks of riding every few days to break your butt into the saddle....it will be sore but then it gets better.  I do 2500-5000 km a year on a racing bike and once the butt is broken in, you're good to go.

[lebikerboy 96]

In my opinion most OEM saddles are shite. If your sitz bones are a different width than the provided saddle, you'll never be comfortable.

Also, during my tenure at a local bike shop (post retirement), I met many customers who kept trying new saddles to alleviate pain, chafing

etc. A large number of them found that by switching to proper bike shorts or liners alleviated the problem,,,

[Chopper 264]

I've got 8 bikes, number 9 on the horizon.  I've owned one of my bikes since new in 1983, a 14th Birthday present from my Grandma, and it still gives regular service for pleasure or on the commute.  Not many cars still working hard after 36 years.  One of the things I do at work is teaching off road skills, advanced road skills, search and rescue techniques, cycle specific first aid and defensive tactics, to emergency services cyclists.  Its very useful training because the car drivers think nothing of clogging up the roads around town at rush hour, usually in 5, 6 or 7 seat tin boxes with only the drivers seat occupied, which is utterly selfish and inconsiderate, so it's often the only way for police and paramedics to get around urban centres, which is where I come in with the training.  I guess if everyone drove Fortwo's the problem wouldn't be half so bad, bit it keeps me in paid employment.

 

The deep irony is that these folk are happy to clog the urban roads twice daily so nothing can move, yet they conveniently forget this when they come across a cyclist or two and sufdenly its they who want to get past.  Talk about pot and kettle!

 

I'm 50 and drive about 1500 miles a year...and cycle about 6000.  I refuse to use motorised transport if I can do it on a bike.  Aside from the fitness, cost and environmental benefits, once you've warmed up and you're in the zone it's a very zen like experience.  Guess I'm an endorphin junkie. Still, my pulse is low 40's at rest, mid 30's in my sleep, and last BP was 110/70, and my respiration is 11 per minute.  2/3 of the people my age couldn't run up a flight of stairs without huffing and puffing, and half of the remainder haven't seen their own feet in a decade, so I guess I'm doing alright.

 

I also consider it my my patriotic duty to remain as fit as possible, minimise the burden on the health service, reduce pollution and minimise my countries reliance on foreign oil sources.

 

So its win, win, win, win.  Welcome to the club

Edited September 3, 2019 by Chopper

[Willys 748]

Drive 1500 miles , Damn I bet I come close to that number monthly!!!  lol
I will admit running up a good flight of stairs will make me hunt for better air...lol....but my blood pressure etc numbers are still well below where other fat bastards are at my age. I will put that down to 6 days a week playing badminton from the age of 10 to 17 competively speaking. I was ranked in Ontario and at one time in Canada...even county champions when in England later in life.....I have had plenty of hardware to show off at the time.   So maybe that resulted in today's better health. I do not see bicycling as a daily fitness regiment any time soon...lol.  I'm a combustion engine addict, sorry...lol.

When you complain about single occupant vehicles, you seem to forget where they are coming from, not everyone can buddy up or share rides with others.......things have to align correctly and many time they don't. So seeing all these vehicles with only one person in them is the result. I know that hundreds of thousands do it the way you wish everyone could do it and ride public transport etc.  So the complaint falls on deaf ears I'm afraid. It is what it is. We all have to deal with it in the urban centers. And not all people follow the rules of the road on both sides.

[Willys 748]

3 hours ago, lebikerboy said:

In my opinion most OEM saddles are shite. If your sitz bones are a different width than the provided saddle, you'll never be comfortable.

Also, during my tenure at a local bike shop (post retirement), I met many customers who kept trying new saddles to alleviate pain, chafing

etc. A large number of them found that by switching to proper bike shorts or liners alleviated the problem,,,

OK, NEVER will I force the rest of humanity to see my body in a pair of sausage suit pants, padded or not...lol.  I was talking to my son who also just bought a bicycle for some strange reason..? He went with the typical road bike, dropped bars etc etc....then says....he bought the padded shorts also......lol.   He said best thing for seat pain.....padded panties....lol.   NOPE...!    Real men do not wear spandex....never happening...I'll suffer bruised bones for as long as it takes, old school style....been there done that.....old school...I'm OLD..!   Besides I have nothing much to show besides excess weight...lol.   Every now and then when driving past these road peddling fools, you see a fat bastard like myself all kitted out in the Tour De France gear....always brings a good chuckle.....lol.     I'll give him props for getting fit again but, nope not squeezing my fat into a sausage suit...sorry....nope!

[Chopper 264]

I wear lycra, but can get away with it, just.  At 6'5" with a 53" chest I'm moderately large, and still have the ex powerlifter arms, shoulders and back.  If I suck my stomach in I don't look too bad at all!

 

It's not the most elegant gear but its sooooop effective if you're riding any distance with any degree of regularity.

Edited September 3, 2019 by Chopper

[BWM 87]

Get one of these and convert it.

 

https://www.amazon.ca/YaeCCC-2-Stroke-Upgraded-Motorized-Bicycle/dp/B07LBH4ZMN/ref=sr_1_1_sspa?crid=CVQIGM7O17GR&keywords=bicycle+gas+motor+kit+80cc&qid=1567564790&s=gateway&sprefix=Bicycle+gas%2Caps%2C286&sr=8-1-spons&psc=1&spLa=ZW5jcnlwdGVkUXVhbGlmaWVyPUEySEJETUZNVUpIUks5JmVuY3J5cHRlZElkPUEwOTM3NzM3MjYwWFQyTkxYMlZPMCZlbmNyeXB0ZWRBZElkPUEwMjcwOTExMkZENzZLVlhTMExHWCZ3aWRnZXROYW1lPXNwX2F0ZiZhY3Rpb249Y2xpY2tSZWRpcmVjdCZkb05vdExvZ0NsaWNrPXRydWU=

[Willys 748]

I have seen those before and nearly bought one but, the cops bust you around here for using them demanding a motorcycle license etc etc....so I just found this.....
 

 

 

Hmmm....cheap too....!
AUGH....!

 

[Leadwing 565]

54 minutes ago, Willys said:

I have seen those before and nearly bought one but, the cops bust you around here for using them demanding a motorcycle license etc etc....so I just found this.....
 

 

 

Hmmm....cheap too....!
AUGH....!

 

 

Proper e-bikes that are limited to 30kph DO NOT require a licence of any kind in Ontario.  You may ride these things with no licence or insurance, even if you have had zero experience on the road or in traffic.  HOWEVER, if you have had your driving privileges removed for any reason, you may not ride them on the roads of Ontario.  They DO require that you wear a helmet.

 

Yes, I have an older e-bike (2003 GIO) and have checked out these facts extensively.

[MikeT 747]

Shoot, 30 km/h is what I average on the 27 km into work on my racing bikes when not trying too hard.

[Chopper 264]

E Bikes that give assistance up to 15.5 MPH are legal here.  I haven't bothered - even at my age I'm fit enough that a regular bicycle is much quicker.

 

A few people here fly about on unrestricted ones, and people do get fingered for it.  That they're electric doesn't change the fact that they're motor bikes.

Edited September 4, 2019 by Chopper

[tolsen 630]

I own two electric bikes.  One rather tame old ladies 250 Watt bike with front shopping basket and a converted Raleigh Activator II that goes like shit off a shovel.

[Leadwing 565]

My one and only e-bike is also a 250 Watt effort.   It does well to haul my 240lbs. (111.1kg.) around and has a range of about 70 km.  It works for me.

[Chopper 264]

I do quite fancy a recumbent, but the prides are a bit daft.

[tolsen 630]

My first bike was proudly made out of wood by my grandfather and very similar to these:

 

 

 

Perfect for carrying heavy and bulky loads. 

 

[tolsen 630]

Wonder if last photo was shot somewhere in Québec?

[Willys 748]

3 hours ago, tolsen said:

Wonder if last photo was shot somewhere in Québec?

Nope....roads are too good for it to be in Quebec....!!!!!    lol

 

[tolsen 630]

34 minutes ago, Willys said:

Nope....roads are too good for it to be in Quebec....!!!!!    lol

 

 

But it says “Travail du Bois” and there is a boulangerie!

[Willys 748]

50 minutes ago, tolsen said:

 

But it says “Travail du Bois” and there is a boulangerie!

The signs and even the people are right but the roads are far too flat to be in Quebec...lol.   The whole area is a pothole deep enough to break wheels!

 

[lebikerboy 96]

Looks like Haiti...

[LooseLugNuts 557]

democratic republic of congo

[darren 192]

On 2019-09-04 at 0:13 AM, Leadwing said:

 

Proper e-bikes that are limited to 30kph DO NOT require a licence of any kind in Ontario.  You may ride these things with no licence or insurance, even if you have had zero experience on the road or in traffic.  HOWEVER, if you have had your driving privileges removed for any reason, you may not ride them on the roads of Ontario.  They DO require that you wear a helmet.

 

Yes, I have an older e-bike (2003 GIO) and have checked out these facts extensively.

 

E-bikes that look like motor scooters are a menace on the streets here. People call them DUI-cycles, because they seem to be most often ridden by people who really have no business being on the roads at all. They're wide, slow, heavy, and are usually bobbing and weaving around the right lane (or the bike lane) making them a hazard to motorists, cyclists, and pedestrians. There are even "e-bikes" that look like full-blown sportbikes, but again, limited to 30 km/h. 

 

I'd really like to see the Ontario government limit their width and weight, which would make electrically-assisted bicycles okay, but these faux-torscooters illegal.

[Willys 748]

IF you have earned a DUI and lost your license you are not legally allowed to drive anything on the roads and that includes an electric powered scooter, bicycle etc etc....my neighbor learned this the hard way! He almost purchased an E Bike of some sort before learning this law.  I know as I was one of the poor bastards who drove him around while he waited his 1 year suspension. 
I personally like that E bike I posted up IF I lived in a van  and could carry it as alternative transport while within a urban setting, or living down town anywhere....

These E bikes are just a modern take on the 49 cc mopeds of my day way way back.   We all thought the same of those things. Always in our way driving around in front of us while driving down town Ottawa. Not much different to bicycle couriers.....I used to be a courier on 4 wheels, another danger to public safety, that's for sure!   Paid by the package, went like hell every where...!  Young and foolish but made plenty of money.

 

Edited September 11, 2019 by Willys

[Chopper 264]

Think yourself lucky.  Since my shoulder went south again in June I've had no riding.  Minor op on Friday and hopefully 2 or 3 weeks and I might be back at it, but I. going g to have to pedal lime the clappers to make up the 2000+ mile shortfall on this years mileage total.